Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
