tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
