Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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