Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My balls are so social today.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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