I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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