Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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