If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
