I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
