im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Found your dick twin last night
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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