Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
