Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
