Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
