Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
