Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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