You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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