Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
