He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
