We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
