dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
