so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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