try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
