Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
