...so i touched it.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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