Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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