EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
