My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
PANTIES FOUND
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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