Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
