So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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