watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
