last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
