is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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