Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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