His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
jump out the window naked night went bad
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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