ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
