This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
