Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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