they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
