White coat. Heels.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
