New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
