3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
