the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
