He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
