i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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