dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
