Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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