So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
