is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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