I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
