whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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