man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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