doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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