Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
