How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
