she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
